Angelina Ballerina Sasha

That’s the name of the swirling, pink, confident ballerina that starts from stretching and bending over her plump tummy to walking tippy toed…all of course within the safety of her home.

After being pleaded several times about wanting to go to ballet, we relented imagining this to be one of those necessary girly milestones that our toddler wanted to sign up for in order to fit in with her peers.

And needless to say, her mum needs the slightest excuse to indulge her with new ballet clothes that even had a ballerina teddy bear to match!

So imagine our shock when we reach her trial ballet class, to find that our little ballet enthusiast has had a complete change of heart and instead of rosy smiles, find her shouting “I DOHWANT” refusing to enter the classroom, frightened out of her wits and screaming with real tears pouring down her face.

So we stood there, a little disappointed, watched the other kids from outside the glass walls…and then returned home.

Two days later, after no conversation abt the ballet fiasco, Sasha comes up to us and whispers something of a deliberate promise, and on asking her to speak up louder we hear her saying “ Mummy, next time I be a good girl and go inside the classroom” Awwww….completely moved us to tears. Poor little thing had taken two full days to muster back her courage to not let go of her imagined happiness in being a ballerina.

So in not wanting to disappoint, the next week saw us back at another trial class.

She started out alright, stepped into the classroom, but just as I was beginning to smile at how proud I was, I hear the familiar sniffles and the whimpering…and yes, just as I had feared, she refuses to mingle and have fun as her class starts.

Mid way through the class the teacher allows us to step out, coz she’s clearly in misery and we return home.

I’m definitely not a tiger mom that expects my daughter to succeed in everything that she sets her mind to. However, the next day when I heard her repeat her refrain of wanting to be a good girl and being in the next class, I wonder if I will be doing more harm by not seeing this through. Of damaging her esteem and self image if she does not feel like the ‘good girl’ who had the persistence to become the ballerina she dreams of being.

All difficult questions. For now, I’m following her lead and sticking to the old fashioned route of encouragement. And cuddles…hundreds of them. She might never turn out liking ballet after all, but I've come to know something valuable from this exercise. That she's a sensitive and responsible little person who won't give in to her fears. And that's good enough for me.